“All Caltech-affiliated research, communication, and other published documents must use only the pre-approved adjectives… in order to stay aligned with our identity guidelines,” Caltech administration announced yesterday afternoon. An insider source has confirmed that this action will include NASA Jet … Continue reading Caltech Bans “Lame” Adjectives
BY JAMES SILVA Last Tuesday, the Office of the Registrar announced that the servers used for registration will be moved to the cloud by means of several thousand industrial-strength balloons. Acknowledging the “issues” which have plagued the registration process in … Continue reading IMSS Moves Registration to the Cloud
In a long-anticipated move, Caltech administration announced Thursday morning that they plan to extend Undergraduate Core requirements to include graduate school, effective immediately. UG Core requirements are mandatory for every undergraduate. Administration also mentioned the possibility of phasing out introductory … Continue reading Caltech Adds Grad School to UG Core Requirements
With registration for Spring term just around the corner, administrators are clinging to their desks and biting their nails. The reason? Caltech’s very own renegade class, Ge1. This year, Ge1, Introduction to Earth and Environment, is gearing up for record-breaking … Continue reading Ge1: Naive Troublemakers, or Nefarious Terrorist Cell?
A growing number of brave upperclassmen are walking through communal areas, braving froshbite and worse, driven by fears of missing dinner. The enormous risk was highlighted last weekend by a Caltech junior’s tragic loss of three toes and two fingers. … Continue reading Caltech Junior Loses Toes, Fingers to Froshbite
Today, Caltech administration celebrates history’s biggest real estate deal, which gives the Institute more than 800,000 square miles of land, including the much-desired Mississippi River. The auspicious purchase cost approximately four cents per acre, which is considered a steal. The … Continue reading Caltech purchases 827,000 miles of land west of the Mississippi to house freshmen
College students these days are bombarded with all sorts of constant notifications, making it harder than ever to unplug and relax—and Caltech is no different. That’s why Caltech Beavernet invites you to join us in our long-running, award-winning, kitten-saving “Slow Internet Movement,” specially … Continue reading [SPONSORED] Embracing the “Slow Internet Movement” with Caltech Beavernet
Greetings, [adjective] reader! This is the re-inaugural [noun] of The [well-known publication], the [adjective] publication of the [adjective] California Institute of [noun]. Herein you will [verb] only the most [adjective], [adjective], and [adjective] news regarding Our Fine [noun]. The [same well-known publication] covers everything from [important noun] to [another important noun], as well as the many, many things in between and beyond. If you would like to [verb], please [verb] the Editors at california.torch@gmail.com. We seek [adjective] writers with [adjective] taste and an appreciation for the [noun]. Continue reading [Noun] from the Editors
A new year, a new class of frosh… and a new Torch. We’ve had a blast running the Torch – while we haven’t always been the most frequent or consistent posters, it’s been a fun place to blow off steam … Continue reading So long, and thanks for all the fish
Tonight, March 15th, is the second day of finals for Caltech Students. More importantly, tonight marks the most anticipated social event of the term, Chandler Interhouse. Known for its loud music, intricate decorations, and high attendance, Chandler Interhouse is unique … Continue reading Chandler Interhouse Tonight!
