Institute Announces New Senior Director of Senior Directorship

In a bold, dynamic move, Caltech has become the first university in the nation to hire a Senior Director of Senior Directorship, a decision which has reportedly long been pondered but was formerly considered to be too audacious.

President Tom Rosenbaum explained the decision to The Torch:

As we in the Caltech administration have striven to ensure that we, like the rest of the Institute, are pioneers in our field, we have increasingly run up against the boundaries of traditional administrative practices. To continue to increase the complexity and reduce the efficiency of the administration, we had to think outside the box.

To investigate further, The Torch attempted to count the number of Senior Director positions at Our Beloved Institute. Unfortunately, we were unable to determine the exact number due to the number of titles which included both “Senior” and “Director” but were too ambiguous to be clearly identified as a Senior Director. However, considering the length of the list of Senior Directors, The Torch feels that the administration’s unorthodox decision is not only justified, but fully necessary.

It is currently unclear how the position will be filled. While there is presently no official stance, a reporter for The Torch was told by one of Caltech’s even more numerous Associate Directors that an interim Senior Director of Senior Directorship will be appointed, and that they will chair a committee of Senior Directors to make a procedural recommendation to the Senior Director of Human Resources. Our source estimated that the new position “might be filled in as little as two or three years,” depending on how quickly each rubber stamp is obtained.

Though the details clearly still need to be hammered out by a few committees, subcommittees, and sub-subcommittees, The Torch fully backs Caltech administration’s decision and looks forward to meeting the new Senior Director of Senior Directorship in person.

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