“Stale Memes” Added to List of Honor Code Violations

In a continuation of their reinterpretations of the Honor Code, the Office of Student Affairs announced early this morning that “stale memes” now constitute an Honor Code violation, leading some to wonder about the future of “dank memes” on campus as well.

Vice President of Student Affairs Joseph E. Shepherd (PhD ’81), C.L. “Kelly” Johnson Professor of Aeronautics and Mechanical Engineering, clarified the change: “After a careful student affairs investigation, we determined that ‘stale’ memes, including ‘deez nuts’ and ‘Caltech Cares,’ are clear Honor Code violations.” Shepherd could not clarify his reasoning, but assured our reporter that it was based on a thorough process. He also confirmed that the CRC would be trained extensively in meme theory in order to deal with disciplinary cases resulting from the decision.

The California Torch has also received inside information that a campus-wide “memes policy” will be instituted in the near future, providing guidelines for what memes are allowable for use on campus, along with a list of prohibited memes. Administrators have expressed hope that this policy will “curb the rampant and dangerous culture of consuming stale memes on campus,” and dismissed concerns that it would simply drive memeing off campus.

Some students have expressed concern over the announcement, however. One undergraduate, who asked to remain anonymous so that her memes would not be targeted, commented that “I’m worried that the structure of enumerating specific memes as honor code violations will lead to dank, fresh memes being banned in knee-jerk reactions. Some dark day, perhaps all memes – even dickbutts – will be banned, and the noble lolcat will no longer freely walk our sidewalks.”

A dreadful thought, and we at the Torch hope that such a future never comes to pass.

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