Ge1: Naive Troublemakers, or Nefarious Terrorist Cell?

With registration for Spring term just around the corner, administrators are clinging to their desks and biting their nails. The reason? Caltech’s very own renegade class, Ge1. This year, Ge1, Introduction to Earth and Environment, is gearing up for record-breaking registration numbers, unparalleled attendance, and more than a handful of option-converters – in short, the perfect recipe to plunge campus into chaos.

Administration denies that they are to blame. An insider from the Office of the Registrar told The Torch today,

Normally, when we send someone to teach a class, it’s with the mutual assumption that teaching ‘the best and the brightest’ is a chore that should be avoided at all costs. We really don’t know how this one slipped past us, but we aim to find out and crush it.

As Ge1 continues its suspicious behavior, many question the true intentions beneath its pleasant veneer. For example, while the class could indeed be the product of misguided but innocent rationale, it could also easily be concealing more insidious motives, such as:

  • Making students feel like there is hope in a world of despair
  • Convincing coveted Physics majors to switch to Geology (not to mention any of the other majors!)
  • Causing trouble by upsetting the status quo of bitterness
  • Making other professors look bad
  • Crashing Regis on registration day, and general cyberwarfare against Our Fine Institute.

A spokesperson from administration commented that they will not allow the current situation to continue, declaring: “Either they change, or we drop them like a rock. That’s that.”

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