https://www.flickr.com/photos/ludwg/8668129713

ARC Declares New Grading System

Author: Peter Lankton

In a stunning move, the Academics and Research Committee (ARC) announced Friday morning a complete overhaul of the Caltech grading scheme. The reported reason was to preemptively combat rampant grade inflation that has caused GPAs to skyrocket across all divisions. “We are creeping towards a future where the average grade given will be an A,” said an ARC rep who wished to remain anonymous, “So instead of fighting the future, we’ve chosen to embrace it.” The California Torch acquired a copy of the ARC report detailing the new grading scheme, which is summarized below:

Grade

Description

A*

Excellent!

A!

Pretty good work.

A

Average.

A?

Meh.

A:(

Were you registered for this class?

Students in their first two terms of Caltech will also see a change on their report card – rather than the traditional “Pass-Fail” grace period, often noted as “P/F,” freshman will be graded on a scale of “Pass-Pass Plus,” or “P/P+.” In their second term of study, freshman will be given shadow grades according to the new Institute scale. “We didn’t want to get rid of pass-fail,” said the ARC rep. “But at the same time, we needed a change, since there is no clear correlation between a grade of “fail” and anything on our new scale.”

Students have been reacting to the new grading scheme, which is effective immediately. “Personally, I’m very excited by this,” said sophomore nuclear engineering student Stella Rater, “They’re like new Pokemon – I want to collect them all!” The Torch reached out to the ARC to investigate how GPA will be calculated under the new system. “That’s easy. We’ll just report GPA in fixed-point arithmetic Q3.12 binary notation,” said an ARC rep, “By the time employers and grad schools figure out what we’re doing, we’ll just change the system on them again.”

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