Student Not Certain Whether the C-Store is Closed, or Just on Break

A student stands mostly motionless in front of the 1950s-era brutalist building which abuts Page House. Noticing a look of concern on his face, this reporter for The Torch decided to investigate.

“I thought for sure the C-Store would be open”, said Laura Scholl ’18, “but the sign says ‘closed’. Do you think I should wait here for a second?” At the time, this reporter had no public comment on optimum C-Store strategies.

Another student walked up and shared a fairly optimistic view. “I think they’re usually open at this time, so maybe they’re just on break.” He peers into the glass door. “The lights are still on, or at least most of them, so surely it’ll reopen soon.”

The C-Store logo is either a fresh, ripe orange, or perhaps a palm tree on the Sun.

The Torch reported on a similar incident last week, when the C-Store was in fact open, but one of the signs had not been flipped from the “Closed” state. Several confused passers-by expressed how “Caltech is going down hill” and “when I was a frosh, the ‘closed’ signs were accurate and the breaks were scheduled”. The crisis was solved when a nameless samaritan fixed the offending sign.

Today, one student, Richard Mendez ’19 notes that a few people sitting over at one of the tables appear to be waiting in front of the C-Store for it to reopen, but it’s possible they’re just hanging out. “Usually when the cashier is on break they put up a different sign. You know, the one that says ‘will be back in’ N minutes?” says a newcomer Jake Shou ’17. “Or at least sometimes. If you think of this in terms of Bayes’ rule, you can see that this is slight evidence towards it actually being closed.”

“Wait, is the schedule different on Fridays? I can’t remember”. The small crowd that has formed grows more impatient. Shou tries to check Caltech’s website, but barely makes it to the CDS homepage before realizing something: “dammit, I forgot my ID card anyway, so forget it.”

After approximately 12 entire minutes of waiting, this reporter also lost hope of the prospect of trying out his new favorite C-Store recipe: Oreos, Nutella, and Marshmallows. Diabetes can wait for tomorrow.

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