The California Torch received reports this morning that Federal Emergency crews are gearing up to respond to the tragic disaster that is Blacker courtyard. Several have been injured and at least one rumored dead after the recent surge in courtyard … Continue reading Federal Emergency Declared over State of Blacker Courtyard
At a press conference on Friday afternoon, American President Barack Obama thanked the California Institute of Polytechnology, better known by its moniker “Cal Poly” for “expanding the frontier of human knowledge through research in science, engineering, and mathematics,” adding that “the American … Continue reading President Obama Thanks Cal Poly for Contributions to Science
A student stands mostly motionless in front of the 1950s-era brutalist building which abuts Page House. Noticing a look of concern on his face, this reporter for The Torch decided to investigate. “I thought for sure the C-Store would be open”, … Continue reading Student Not Certain Whether the C-Store is Closed, or Just on Break
In the most anticipated event of the fall, Caltech freshmen finally became sophomores this past Saturday at 5 pm. “I’ve been a frosh for so long, and I made so many memories as a frosh. I wasn’t even sure that … Continue reading Caltech Freshmen Become Sophomores
After a not-so-brief hiatus for Rotation, The California Torch is back. While Caltech as a whole could always use more satire, we felt that Rotation is already a crazy enough time, and we wanted to make sure this period was … Continue reading We’re Back!
